Thursday, March 17, 2016

To Help is To Understand

In my personal development I remember hearing someone pose a question. "Can a Coach, help others if they are facing challenges?" I immediately knew the answer but I was curious to hear the official response.

If we were perfect, if were spared from pain and setbacks, we would have no compassion and understanding for those that need. If everything we touched turned to GOLD, then we would not understand the need to work hard, and sacrifice time. If we laughed all the time then we would not understand and feel the sadness of others.

A true coach will have felt the pain and overcome. He or She will have fallen hard and chosen to rise higher even if bruised and confused. He or She will have known fear, heartbreak, failure and ridicule. They will have made mistakes, and chosen to learn from them.

·                     I can't coach, if I can't feel. I can't find you, if I haven't been lost. 
·                     I can't help you find light, if I haven't walked in darkness.


What good is a coach to you if he or she can't connect with you? We can find many wonderful coaches; mentors who can help many yet not help you. Why?  Simple, because there has to be a connection, a trust. If I can trust you understand my pain, I will open up. If I can feel your empathy, I will share my story. If I can see you've overcome your challenges, I will let you guide me.

Why do so many of us buy books, videos, and audiotapes, only to stash them aside and never hear from them again? Because of the lack of connection! I will be very honest with you, I felt drawn to helping others from my moment of darkness. It was not because of a degree, it was because of something I found in my darkness. You see I felt hope when I was giving up. I saw light when I was lost in darkness and I felt strength when I was beyond broken. I did not deserve to be rescued over others. In fact, a couple of weeks of me having found my way, a friend of my Ex-husband committed suicide. He shot himself due to the same issues I was facing. I felt in my heart that I had to share hope with others. Does this make sense? A true coach is not that one that glorifies himself of all of his or her accomplishments.....although please don’t get me wrong, that is something to be recognized and applauded. But a true coach is he or she that is led by their humanity to help others find their way toward better.

What is that better I refer too? You tell me! Because better to me might not be in alignment with what you want. You may not be interested in anything I care about and that is OK. You see each of us has a role in life, a purpose to fulfill. And each of when fulfilling our purpose make for a beautiful life.

If you can't afford a coach, remember that there is a Mentor, Coach, Nurturer and Restorer closer than you realize........that COACH is GOD......He has never turned his attention away from you, never moved too far. It has been us out of fear and despair that focused our eyes on darkness and took steps away from his grace. But if you find you want help from someone there are many Coaches out there including myself who would like to help you in your journey to a better you, according to you. 

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