Thursday, December 27, 2012

New Year's Resolution

New Year’s resolution……..

We all make new year’s resolution and unfortunately somewhere along the line either we give up or lose focus of our goals. Why does this happen? Is it because we are not clear on what we want or is it that we do not have the proper motivation?

Sometimes we need a little push in the right direction, unfortunately sometimes that little push comes in the form of RED ALERTS:

· Results of your medical indicating some level is high

· Feeling tired often from lack of exercise

· Catching your breath from excess smoking

· Tired of being broke due to mismanagement of your money


Red alerts can do the trick but they can also add stress to an already bad situation. How great if we could just envision the life we want and just set the goals NOW while we are healthy, while things are still good. The motivation would not be urgency but it would be to live the dream, your dream. There is no reason to wait to be told your bank account is low to start saving, there is no reason to be told your cholesterol is high to work out and eat right. We can prevent certain things from happening and we do it by getting clear of the life we want to live and by taking control and staying the course. 

What is your 2013 New Year’s resolution and what will you do to achieve it? Let’s not just say “lose weight”, let’s set a target, timeline dress size, pant size…..let’s get clear. Let’s not just say “not be broke”, let’s set a target, when to pay off excess bills, how much emergency money to save and by when…..let’s get clear. Let’s not say for 100th time “stop smoking”, get yourself on a program, monitor your progress, get a “stop smoking buddy”, get clear on why you want to do it. Is it to live longer and do so with HEALTH?, Enjoy your grandchildren?, or simply feel free……whatever your reason is, get clear on the why and commit to doing it.

Resolutions are not about others……it’s not about meeting someone else’s expectation it’s about you…..it’s about you living the life you feel inside that you deserve.   

What is your new year’s resolution and what will you do to achieve it?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Are you the roadblock?



There is only one person that can stop me.....and that is ME 
However that won't be a problem because I plan to stay out of my way!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Steps to Self- Discovery According to Me

When I first got started on my journey I was not thinking of how to get started or what steps to follow,  I only knew one thing.   I knew that my life had to change, I was tired of living or better yet, I was tired of just existing.  Does that sound familiar?

When I look back at my journey I realize that Honesty to myself was one of the first most important steps......why honesty?  Well because sometimes we live in denial.   We prefer to point fingers at others rather than take responsibility for how we think, speak and act.   When you become honest with yourself, you remove yourself from the "victim" mentality and move toward reclaiming your life. 

So let's begin this exercise with HONESTY! - can you do that?

Steps to self-discovery:

  • Acknowledge your past mistakes  -  this is not about focusing on why you make mistakes,
                         this is about identifying what you need to work with and understanding
                         your role. 
  • Forgiveness -  this is not about forgetting the past, instead its about releasing yourself and
                         others from past mistakes.   If your pain is about a failed relationship,
                         forgiveness is not a way to salvage a relationship as some relationships
                         might be over.  However its about releasing yourself from the
                         resentments and about finding the strength and energy to move on.   If your
                         pain is about your personal mistakes, its about understanding none of us are
                         perfect and that its not about not making mistakes, its about learning from
                         them and being better.    
                         ******We can't move on with resentment in our hearts!
  • Community -  Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on, support you on your
                         quest to becoming a better version of yourself.  A coach, mentor, minister,
                         priest or someone you love and admire.  We need to connect with people that
                         want to see us improve in life according to our needs not their vision!
  • Journal -        You can begin with simple questions such as:
                        
          • Who am I?
          • What do I really believe and why?
          • If no one could stop me, if nothing got in my way, what would I really want in life?
          • Why do I act as I do?
                               These are just some questions you can ask however as you get started you
                               will come up with some questions which have been in the back of your mind
                               for some time.
                               The key to the journal is that you should revisit your questions every day until
                               you feel in your heart without a doubt that the answers you provided are
                               correct for you.    This exercise will help you get clear on who you are or
                               want to be and what you want to achieve.
  • Challenge yourself - Hold yourself accountable
          • Set goals
          • Set time line's
          • Track your progress
                                 Treat this like a job, however knowing this is your life!


Getting clear on who we are is not easy as you will have to face some ugly truth about how we think, speak, act and most importantly we will need to challenge what we are willing to do.  

We need to understand that we are a work in progress, therefore as we head out on this journey, we might make mistakes, come across some bumps on the road yet we need to have courage to move forward.  We will do this, because we deserve better, we are worth the time and effort we spend to develop ourselves. 



Friday, November 30, 2012

Life is about Choices…….

There are times things just go wrong, we don’t understand why or how we just know we are unhappy and frustrated. At that moment we have a CHOICE….

We can choose to:
                 Give up, complain, throw things and go on with our frustrated lives
                                                             OR
                 Take a deep breath, analyze the situation, seek solution or simply move
                 forward despite the negative emotions you might feel

I don’t know what your opinions are on this, however the last time I got mad; throwing a tantrum got me nowhere. It was only when I chose to get clear on Me and where I was going that all the pieces of the puzzle began to come together.

Life is about Choices.......... You get to choose the next step!


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

From a Distance

Let's put aside our differences, let's accept each other and grant each other the love and respect we all deserve. WE are people, no matter where we are from, how we look, the language we speak. For those like me who believe in a higher power; Our Creator looks at us from a Distance and see us all as his children. It is not our job as his children to dictate what is right or wrong, passing judgment upon others. It is our job as brothers and sisters to live in harmony and aim to be the best person we can be.

Let's focus on being the best version of ourselves and slowly our love will spread throughout the world.

http://youtu.be/OKzd2Wh3xNk

Monday, November 12, 2012

I am strong

I used to be somewhat strong yet lacked confidence. I used to give in at times to please others. I used to settle for what others said I deserved or could have. My journey to self-discovery has changed me in so many ways.

I am no longer affected by problems as I once was. I acknowledge them yet move on to the solution
  • I am no longer in the people pleasing business. I know what I want, know what I deserve and am willing to move forward no matter what challenges I might face. 
  • I don’t settle…..someone else’s idea on what my life should be is just an opinion not my reality 
  • I have an increased level of patience for people, however I have little tolerance for the “victim” mentality. 
  • I don’t ask permission, I inform those that need to know. 
  • I am capable of giving forgiveness to myself or others 
  • I am capable of moving on 
  • I am open to dreaming big 
  • I love myself just how I am 
  • I don’t apologize for being me 

As I write these things I am amazed at how much I have changed, in fact I am so much stronger than I ever have been and I know that this is just the beginning. As I look forward as to where I am headed I realize I have yet so much to learn and so much to keep growing. I am writing my story as I go and I am loving every minute of it.

My best advice to whomever is reading this is to be open to discovering who you are. Grant yourself forgiveness no matter how bad you feel you messed up.  Be open to learning new things and pushing yourself past what you believe to be your limits. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Love who you are because you are a gift to the world and we need you just like you are.

Friday, October 26, 2012

In my lifetime

In my lifetime I have met several people that want to do things yet hide behind

The “lack of approval” from others to not do. They really were not held back by another person, they were held back by their own fear/insecurities. They hid behind the “lack of approval” as a way to not face the truth; “FEAR”. I have learned to dream big and believe in my abilities to achieve. I have learned to be accountable, taking responsibility on how I think, speak and act and not blame others for my lack.

In my lifetime I have met a several people that never cared about others approvals, instead they had a vision and they held steady on their goals no matter how many times they came face to face with failure…….I learned from those people that failure was just a temporary setback and that if you are clear on where you are headed, you will not be distracted by challenges in the road.

In my lifetime I have met several people that think they know it all. Do you know any one like that? Before you tell your story, their story is bigger, before you tell them your idea, they know why it does not work, etc……… I have learned to not share my life with those people as they add no value or support to my life.

In my lifetime I have learned to surround myself with good, strong, positive people.
I still have people around me that are weak or negative and I do spend time with them however I have learned to not be absorbed by their issues. I have learned to expect good rather than expect bad. I have learned to give more than I want to receive, to love myself and others more than I need to be loved and to have faith in me and my higher source regardless of not having the answers.

Today I know that everything I do benefits someone, I might not know them, I might never see their face yet I know that everything I do, helps someone and I LIKE IT.

Today I know that I am open to learning, exploring and being myself and I LIKE IT.
Today I know that no matter what anyone thinks, they might not like my grammar, my accent, my color, my weight, my style, my education, I LOVE ME just as I AM.

Friday, October 5, 2012

It's your right!

You have the right and the responsibility to make it in life. Everyone has his own vision of what life is, and only you can determine what happiness means to you. What you need and what makes you happy can’t be found in a book and can’t be determined by friends or family. You might already know what you need and want, but you might be afraid to go after it. There may be feelings of not deserving, not being good enough, you name it. You are not alone; many of us go through these feelings on a daily basis.


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

You can't lie to yourself

I can lie to you, change my story to make it sound nice, yet at the end I will know my truth…
I will know my life, my decisions and my consequences.   

If you agree with this statement……then you will also agree it’s not worth it.
Lying means you are not happy with yourself, means you are ashamed of something or living in regret.

You can break free of that feeling of shame or regret, by just taking ownership of your story and being determined to becoming a better version of you.



Time to get MOVING

This is not the time to take it easy
This is not the time to look back and size your problems

This is the time to move forward and focus on the goal……..
It’s time to get moving

Thank You

Thank you Thank you Thank you for taking the heavy burdens off my back and blessing me with peace and hope.

Thank you Thank you Thank you because although I can't see the change I need, I know it is already on its way.

Thank you Thank you Thank you........AMEN

"SO WHAT"
You made a mistake and were called in to explain
You spoke before having the facts
You failed your exam
You banged up your car
You were late
etc etc etc.....

To all this just shout out "SO WHAT". It is true each of these are an inconvenience yet EVERYONE screws up from time to time and we will screw up even more often if we are hard on ourselves and try to not screw up.

If you screwed up......ADMIT IT, GET OVER IT and MOVE ON.

It happens.....no need to dwell on what was done, let’s just find solutions to be better next time.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

October 27, 2003


October 27, 2003, was my first day at a new job. I was thrilled to be
starting in such a great company. However years prior, I was constantly
applying to this company, and all I received were thank-you letters telling
me they’d received my résumé and would keep it on file, blah, blah, blah.
(Perhaps you know that letter). I received so many of those letters that I
honestly felt I had no chance of ever working there. My sister was out of
work, and she had an opportunity to interview for a job in this company.
She suggested that I apply too, as she felt it was perfect for me. I had
written the company off my list, as I felt they did not want me. They
had rejected me so much already, and it would hurt even more if they
rejected me when I knew there was a job opportunity. Well, my sister
told me, “Eileen, you can do this. The worst that can happen is that you
don’t get the job, but you won’t know unless you try.”

Shortly after, I decided to send in my resume once more; however, this
time I sent an e-mail to the person who would be interviewing my
sister. I did not just send a resume; I sent him a cover letter in which
I essentially said, “You want to meet me.” I told him why I believed I
would be great for the position, and I topped it off by telling him that if
given the opportunity, he would agree that he would be making a great
decision to hire me. Honestly, what drove me to write that letter was the
frustration of being rejected so many times.

To my surprise, they called me in for an interview, and to my further
surprise, that interview went great. I interviewed with three managers,
and they seemed to like me. I was selling a product, “me,” and they were
buying in. After the interview, they asked me if I had any questions for
them, to which I responded, “When do I start?” They thanked me for
my time and told me they were still interviewing candidates. They said
they would let me know later. I went home feeling confident, but days
passed with no word from them. I followed up with a thank-you note
and again reassured them I was the right candidate. More days continued
to pass, and I had no news on the job. Again, I felt rejected, I knew I had
done everything I could to get the job and I also knew in my heart this
job was right for me. Exactly a month later, I received a FedEx package
with an offer from the company. I could not believe it. I was so happy.
I had to fill out forms, submit to a drug test . . . and pick a start date.
My start date was October 27, 2003.

I am thankful to my sister for encouraging me to keep trying.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


For this exercise you will need:

  • Post its
  • Pen or Pencil
  • Honesty
  • A wall (one you are not too fond of) 
  • Notebook

1- In each post it write a problem you are dealing with (one problem per post it). Make sure to cover them
    all, if it bothers you….write it down.
2-Choose a wall in your house….
3- Place the post it’s on the wall - we will call this (Problem Wall)
4- Stand with your back to the wall and press against the wall as if you were tied against the wall.
    (Feel the pressure)
5- Feeling the pressure, I want you to begin separating yourself from the Problem Wall - as you do, feel
    your body start to release slowly from the wall, remember the problem wall is trying to hold you and you
    are forcing yourself away.
Feel the feeling of entrapment
6- You are now released, step away and look back……
7- Answer this:  
  • Are there any hands coming out of that wall?
  • Is the wall calling you back to get back into your position of entrapment?
The answer to both questions is NO……

As of the moment of separation, your problems will remain on that wall. They can’t hurt you…..they will remain there until you find resolution for each one (one at a time).

8- Take out your notebook and write…..
Now that my problems live in the past and can no longer hurt me, I will place all my energy in (fill in the blank, your new chapter starts here……………)

Every time you achieve a milestone, you will resolve one problem…..remove that problem from your wall. Keep following your new path; stick to your plan, no deviations, and no matter what. Each step you take toward your goal is the resolution to one of your problems.

This is how I live my life; each day is a step…..each thing I try is with the intention of growing, developing, and expanding. Everything I do is to fix my life and remove the problem, baggage I drag from years of mistakes.

Problems take a toll on your mind, yet you need to remove yourself from the pain, from the entrapment and you need to help your mind focus on what matters……RECOVERY is what matters.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Dare to be YOU

You have decided to change yet change is not instantaneous or easy…..what do you do?

Do you give up?
Do you give it a try and see how far you can go?
Do you commit to change and stay the course no matter the challenges or pain involved?

No one ever said change was easy, yet change is worth it. We must continue to improve ourselves, expand our thinking, explore new ways learn new skills.

Dare to change…Dare to be different….Dare to be YOU.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Letting Go - Releasing the Pain

Letting go of pain, sadness, frustration, resentment is not easy. Yet letting go, releasing it into the Universe is the only way to move forward. I think of all those emotions as a heavy load that you carry which stops you on your tracks. You can’t stand straight; you can’t move fast, it’s this constant burden holding you down. If not released this baggage has the ability to making you and those around you miserable because it is the constant reminder of PAIN.  
 
You might be living with some resentment in life be it family, work, friendship, mistakes….we all make mistakes and some are easier to correct than others. I look back and I wish I was then the person that I am today….however this new me is a product of all the past mistakes, the lessons learned, the pain, and the tears. This new I could not have existed back then yet today I am here and I am strong.
  


Kenny & Stephanie…..
You both are my life, I can’t change the past, but I am committed to creating a better stronger relationship with the both of you.
 
 
 
To my Reader:
I can’t blame others for my weaknesses; neither can you blame others for yours. It is about being accountable; it’s about recognizing we screwed up and deciding to make life better. Simpler said than done…yet very possible to achieve.

  • Forgive yourself for your weaknesses
  • Forgive others for their weaknesses
  • Move ON to Live Life According to YOU

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Has this been you?

• Do you find yourself wanting to make a change in your life yet not knowing how to do it on your own?
• Do you find it hard to get clear on yourself not knowing what questions to ask?
• Do you find it hard understanding your feelings, releasing yourself from the pain?

I have been there, I have walked that walk, and I have confronted my demons, my fears, myself. I have come face to face with the real me and embraced her. I took myself from victim mode to being accountable. I took myself from not being confident to becoming a confident, stronger version of me.

I did it….you can do it too….
http://www.amazon.com/Life-According-Me-My-Experiences/dp/146854523X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1329945936&sr=8-2

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Interview 5.17.12 on BlogTalk Radio

I had the privilege to participate on a Blog Talk Radio Show hosted by Rita Schiano at
Live A Flourishing Life. It was a great experience for me, being my first interview and even

though I had butterflies in my stomach, I was able to push forward and complete the interview.

I am very thankful for Mrs. Schiano for this opportunity.  Please click on the link to listen
to the interview regarding my journey.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/liveaflourishinglife/2012/05/17/interview-with-life-according-to-me-founder-eileen-gonzalez/scrub/1118

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Why do you need a mentor or a coach?

Why do you need a mentor or a coach?


Successful people have mentors, coaches, they do so because they understand and recognize that they don’t know it all and that sometimes they need a little push toward their goals.  




An athlete can get tired, choose to do to train for an hour instead of for two, choose to run at a slower pace, choose to have a heavy dinner……yet their coach is the constant reminder of the GOAL.  The coach is the constant voice pushing the athlete to push harder, do more, and focus on the big picture.   A successful athlete has a coach.

This is true with many successful people from different walks of life.  Could be a coach, could be a mentor.    I personally have a mentor.  I have someone that will remind me of what I already know and that will listen to me and challenge me when I need to be challenged.    I am a strong woman and I am determined to my goals and know exactly what I want…..yet I understand the value of having a mentor.

Change can seem hard, and it can seem even harder when you attempt to do it alone.  A mentor can be a family member, friend, co-worker; you would be surprised on who could be your mentor.   Find someone you can connect to, that you feel comfortable to communicate with clearly, honestly and be open to allow this person help you on your journey to your goals.   

My mentor did not expect to be my mentor, I just liked his thought process and I chose him.   Thank you Dennis!

Find someone…..you will have a higher success rate with a mentor or coach.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction really does work…I have seen this in my life and each time, I can’t help but be amazed
and filled with gratitude.

When you think of this law you might doubt it as you might want something and yet it never comes to life. Why does this happen? Here is how I see it…..

You want something bad, yet your focus is on NOT HAVING IT……what do you attract?

You attract the not having it, the reason for this is because you are constantly talking about, thinking about and being upset about the NOT HAVING IT.

You want something bad, you set your goal and focus on doing all you can toward the goal…..your focus is the GOAL……what do you attract? You are attracting the desired GOAL, the reason for this is because you know what you want and you are thoughts, words and actions are aligned to reaching your goal.



ASK - know what you want in life 
BELIEVE – have faith that you can have it and deserve it 
RECEIVE – be prepared to act when you feel the moment is right  
Keep your focus on the goal no matter if you don’t have it or if you don’t know how you will have it.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Does this describe your situation?

Have you ever asked yourself why you act as you do?
Does it feel as if you want so much yet you don’t know how to reach for it?

Many of us feel or have felt this way at some point in our lives. It could be for many reasons; childhood, work experience, bad grades, abusive relationships. Whatever the reason; many of us have been in the same boat watching others live the life we want for ourselves. How do we get past this? How do we reclaim our lives and begin to live?

We must:

· Understand what is holding us back.
· Confront the issues (our demons) that keep us from moving forward.
· Identify what we want in life.
· Make a decision to pursue our dreams no matter what challenges we face.

We can’t move forward if we don’t know and understand where we are in life.
If you feel this describes your situation; you have some homework to do.

Surround yourself by the right people

Surround yourself with great people, those that want to see you do well in life. Surround yourself with people that motivate you, push you beyond your limits. Surround yourself with people that accept you and promote you in life.

There is a lot of negativity in the world yet there is no reason to allow ourselves to be absorbed by it.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Life According to Me - banner

Life According to Me is about life, happiness, forgiveness, focus and dedication to achieve a life of full potential.

Keep those you love close to your heart.  Cherish them and make them feel special while you still have the chance.

Monday, April 2, 2012

WHY???????????

It’s funny how kids can annoy us with one simple question, “why”?

 They force us to keep looking for an answer that will satisfy their curiosity. We run out of reasons and patience, and we end up saying something like, “Just because”. As annoying as the “why?” question can be, I invite you to annoy yourself. I want you to pick out something that either: Bothers you · You can’t have Identify what that is and begin to analyze the “why?”. Every time you come up with an answer, question it with another “why?”. Keep doing this until you find the route cause to why it bothers you or why you think you can’t have it. Thing don’t just happen, there is a reason to it and sometimes that reason is not clear; It’s hidden. Until we face the issues, until we acknowledge them and understand them ; we can’t move forward. Get clear…..Get to know the “why?”

My hubby and Computers

This is my husband using his computer
"Hon, how do you use this thing again?"

Support those you love NO MATTER WHAT

My husband was doing really good yesterday after his surgery, he walked and stood up using his own strength.

However as the day progressed he began to feel a lot of pain and was in tears of how bad it was. The RN , nurses and Pain Management came to see him.  His pain was a result of two things:
1-      Machine that releases pain medicine was not working (OUCH)
2-      Gas
The nurse was trying to get my husband to get up to relieve his gas pain.  She was trying, he was mean.
She would speak to him, he would get rude,  my husband was in serious pain.   She says, “Sir, I have seen this before, you will not get up due to the pain and it will get more painful”.  I interrupt………and I say to my husband in Spanish, “ You are going to get up now….your pain is gas and you need to beat it, grab on to me and we will get you up,  Do you trust me?”  In tears he says, “Yes”.  He got up.    The nurse sees me give him support and asks me, “Are you a trained nurse?”  I respond, “nope just a wife”.
She says, well I don’t know what you said, and you have technique, so if I need help, you are my girl”. 
I want to share this with you….not because I did a great thing, instead because WE “spouse, partner”; we offer great support to our loved ones.  There are times one of us will not know how to move forward or how to hold on and that is when we need to become each other’s

Support System.   There is no greater love than to be there for the other NO MATTER WHAT. 
Sometimes that means being tough, being the strong one while the other i
s weak.   
Remember: There is strength in numbers and together you are invincible

You choose

Your journey is up to you......you decide your path, you decide the speed, and you decide what you will settle with; take some time to get clear on your path.

Make it happen

I will be heading out to training this afternoon therefore will not be online.
However want to leave you with this.

You are the only one that can make things happen for you.   At times you will feel nervous, unsure and of course fear will check in.  However remember that “you are the only one that can make it happen”.  With this thought you need to pick yourself up and push yourself beyond your limits.  Push yourself through the fear; push yourself even if you don’t know how good you will do. 

You will learn a lot about yourself.
You will gain experience.
You will be stronger just for doing.

Life is too short, go out and make it happen.

Be the Example

Think of the great advice you give your kids:
·        Try new things
·        Believe in yourself
·        Don’t sell yourself short
·        Take action ……………

Ready? now go take your own advice.
Our kids are watching us closely; even when you think they are not.  Be the example for them.  Let them see you lift yourself when you fall, let them see you find the light within the darkness, let them see you hold on to your faith when things look bad, let them see you push your limits.  Be the example of strength and perseverance for you and your kids.


Sunday, April 1, 2012

Your Resume

Let’s face it, at some point you have either been unemployed for a period of time or known someone who has been laid off from work in the recent years. With so many unemployed professionals as well as entry level it became a challenge for some to get back on their feet. For some this meant accepting jobs for far less money than their prior wages or salaries. For others this meant learning new... skills to make themselves more marketable. Even if you have not been affected, you might be in the near future. So, what do we do? How do we prepare for the possibility of unemployment?

This post is not about worrying or panicking about losing your job, instead it’s about always being prepared.

Quick question: Is your resume up to date?
If it isn’t we need to work on this, I want to focus on two points of the resume.

1-“Objective” - Many use this section to write what they feel will get them the job.
However I like to use this section for the following:

a. Be clear on the type of work you want (job / career), be specific on what your goals are
b. Be specific on what you offer the company that hires you (your key specialties)
c. Keep it brief, hit the key points without making it too wordy

In my opinion the Objective is the official introduction to a company. Just as the hiring company, I too am interested in using  my time effectively which means I want to interview for companies that attract me and for which we both (the Company and I) will benefit.  The company is not just hiring me, I am selecting them. This is the mindset you need when applying to a company.   You are providing a service for which you want to be compensated. Now this is hard to achieve when you are all over the place and are not sure of what you want. Therefore knowing what you want and why; is key in your search and must be evident on your resume.

2-“Experience” – Keep it simple – Less is More
a. Brief description
b. Use bullets to list your experiences within a job role or company

Many of us (including me) tend to get carried away describing all that we do in a role or company. Yet this can be overwhelming to the reader and might cause them to lose interest. Less is More….. by keeping it brief and setting up your job functions or responsibilities as bullet points you will be able to use your resume as talking points.

The resume must be what gets you an interview however must not contain all the answers.
Your goal is to:

• Capture the interviewers full attention.
o Make eye contact
o Explain your roles and responsibilities in detail using Resume as reference
o Be open as to what you seek, your strengths and what you offer

Getting a job is a business transaction, both parties come in to an agreement. You are to provide a specific service in exchange for agreed upon benefits & compensation.  You might not see it this way right now, however if you change your mindset and treat your work as such, you will make yourself more marketable and you will be working toward your goals.

I am in no way an expert on how to write resumes however this is the format I follow. The resumes main function is getting me that interview, the rest is up to me.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Writing: LIfe According to Me

Writing Life According to Me began as a journal.   It was meant to allow me to get clear on who I really was. I had been on a journey to self-discovery and although I felt motivated, there was so much about myself I did not fully understand.  This so called journal forced me to open up and be honest with ME. 


·         Who was I?

·         Why did I act or react as I did?

·         Who did I want to be?

·         What did I want out of life?

·         What would make me happy?

During this time, I was experiencing emotions of fear, uncertainty doubt and guilt.
I would find myself writing letting my pure emotions flow, and at times that would be tears.
As I continued this process, I was diagnosed with Anxiety and told that if I continued stressing as I was

I would cause myself a heart attack.  Heading home, I kept replaying the words……..”I will cause myself a heart attack”, then something fantastic happened.  At that moment I knew that IF I could cause a heart attack I could also prevent it.

I had just been giving a clean bill of health, I had no illness or concerns other than being a heavy woman.  Therefore It was all up to me and it ws time I made a decision.    It’s funny how you change when you feel pinned against a wall.

I wish I could explain to you what happened inside me yet I would not know where to begin.   Yet I know that understanding  that I had the power to either get better or worse, it was like flipping a switch in me and suddenly I was transformed.   All of a sudden

I could see,  I knew what I needed to do and I have not looked back since. 

To me looking back is only helpful when we look to see our growth.   Looking back and dwelling on past failures or sorrows only makes you relive those painful events and holds you back from moving toward your goals.

Writing Life According to Me, was the best thing that happened to me,  it saved my life from
the old ME.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Don't just wish it..make it happen

Saying you want to go on vacation and going on vacation are two separate things. One implies a wish/desire; the other is an action.

Do you just wish to go on vacation or do you?

· Set up a budget?

· Review your choices/destinations?

· Plan what to do and what to see?

· Make the arrangements?

I am sure you do these and more.

You don’t know for sure if vacation will happen planned as you don’t know what can happen from this moment till the time of vacation. However you commit your energy and focus toward this goal because you can visualize it and are certain of what you want, which is to go on “vacation”. You don’t just wish for it; you make it a reality.

This same process is what you need to follow with all your goals. Don’t just think it, work at it. Bring it from the fantasy world to the physical world.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Get organized

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Get organized: Good morning to you all on this glorious Saturday morning.    Today is a special day and we need to begin this day with a GREAT attitud...

Get organized


Good morning to you all on this glorious Saturday morning.  

Today is a special day and we need to begin this day with a GREAT attitude.

·         Thank the heavens for a new day -  gratitude is key to a fresh start
·         Get that coffee  (hehehe)
·         Give yourself a good hug in form of a stretch, get those muscles stretched – you going
  to get busy
·         Take out a notebook -  yes you going to do some homework
o   What make me, Me?  -  get clear on all the greatness, flaws, anything that makes you who you are. (all of it)
o   What do I think I want or need to be happy or satisfied?  -  be honest,  saying. “I have it all is not always the full truth” , if it is…great yet let this be a honest response (remember no one will check your answers other than you)
o   What is holding you back from your goals?  (money, lack of confidence ,etc.)
o   What will I commit to do starting RIGHT NOW to move forward toward my goals, my dreams?
·         Read your answers out loud and make any last minute tweaks if needed
·         Focus on the last question and make a decision to either:  (Your choice, there is no right or wrong decision….it is all up to you)
o   Begin RIGHT NOW to move forward
o   Sit back and wait to see what comes your way
·         Assuming you chose to “Begin RIGHT NOW to move forward
o   Make a TO DO list on the actions you need to take toward your goals
o   Prioritize them 
o   Some goals require multiple steps (break them up)  example
§  Go back to school
·         RESEARCH schools, options, careers financial, schedule
·         APPLY to school
·         Attend school

In this case you see how one goal requires multiple steps.  It is easier to identify the tasks
and tackle them.

You need to do this with all the goals that you have, this will allow you TODAY, to begin to organize yourself and come up with a plan. 

Ok….you got work to do………… are you in?   Well this is personal and only you will know if you are in or not.  Yet, REVIEW this exercise. You have nothing to lose, yet you have much to win, by getting yourself organized and ready to take on your goals.    This will help you bring your goals from the “I am think I should try……..” to the “I know exactly what I want and have to do”


  

Thursday, March 22, 2012

You make a difference

You play a role in this life.
You make a difference.
You are needed.

You might wonder what that role might be, yet I can tell you we all play a part. We all affect each other. No matter how much money, education or dedication you have you make a difference an impact on someone else. Life would not be the same without you. 

Have you ever disagreed with someone, remembered their words, and months or years down the line, those words made sense to you? That person which you did not agree with actually helped you down the line. He / She might not even know it or remember you, yet their words lived on.

Have you ever received a smile from a stranger which made you feel better? That person who gave you a quick smile might not remember you, they smiled out of courtesy, yet to you that smile meant the world, and it was a gift of hope. It could be as powerful as “someone saw me, I am not invisible”.
We all play a role, we all have a responsibility to each other, and we are all connected.

Don’t undervalue yourself, you mean so much more than you imagine.

Road maps / GPS:

Road maps / GPS:

When you think of a road map or GPS you think of it for road trips. You can’t imagine heading out and guessing your way to your destination. Well some might be more adventurous and might enjoy discovering how to get there...
on their own, yet most of us will want to know how to get there without the guess work.

The truth is that we need a road map / GPS in other areas of our lives as well.

• Financial independence
o Do you know how to get there?
o Do you have a Plan B incase Plan A does not go as expected?
o Are you and your loved ones protected in case of a death, disability or illness?
o Are you confident that you will be able to choose the lifestyle you want for your later years?
• Attaining your Goals
o Do you have a clear path to attain your goals?
o Do you know which actions need to be prioritized?
o Do you have a timeline or a check point to monitor your progress?

The truth is we need a road map to help us through many important life situations. Many times we are testing the waters as we go and wishing we make the right choices.

These topics are too serious to take them lightly, we have only RIGHT NOW to review our lives and determine where we are going. It is RIGHT NOW that we need to make the right choices and get ourselves on track.

Each day you wait; is a day wasted.

lifeaccordtome@optonline.ne

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Live like you are dieing - Tim McGraw

I love this song.........

Live life to the fullest and do it now, in this moment which is the only time you really have.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

What do you REALLY fear?

What do you fear?

Speaking in public:
Do you fear:
• Being laughed at?
• Not capturing audience attention?
• Getting nervous, forgetting what you have to say?
• Not being liked?
• Not speaking clearly?
• Having all eyes on you?

Applying for a new job?

Do you fear:
• Interviewing process?
• Not knowing how to describe what you do?
• Starting over?
• Learning new things
• Not getting what you deserve?

Going back to school
Do you fear:
• Starting over?
• Being an older student?
• Being stuck in old mentality?
• Not being able to learn?

We can go on and on, you can fear anything in life. The question is do you UNDERSTAND the true source of your fear?

Find what you fear and analyze it as I did above…….try to answer the questions to your fear. This will help you get clear and will allow you to work on reducing /eliminating that fear.

Give it a try. The worst thing that happens is that you LOSE your fear and REGAIN your confidence. Hey, you never know unless you try.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I am going to take you back in time to the moment of my transformation. I was serving Grand Jury and my life was a mess. I was seriously in debt, had no way to get a loan due to BAD CREDIT and we were in trouble. I was sitting in Grand Jury listening to people that had done things out of desperation and even though I was not one of them, I felt afraid. Afraid of feeling that desperate, knowing... I was there or very close. I was not sleeping, constantly crying and just had no answers. I was already on my journey to a better me yet, I had failed at one thing. I DID NOT BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

I began to get nervous, would have what i call "hot flashes" that would come over out of fear, I was not sleeping as my mind could not rest and I did not dare speak about this to no one. I was breathing hard and I began to fear a heart attack.

I called my sister and told her I was scared and together we went to the doctor. I had tests done, they sent me for blood work and was told i was very healthy yet I was experiencing ANXIETY. My Doctor told me that many people were experiencng the same issues I was AND that if i continued to focus on my problems I WOULD CAUSE MYSELF A HEART ATTACK.

I went home feeling good about being healthy however her words kept repeating in my mind. " I will cause a heart attack". as I kept hearing the words, my next thought was "I can cause myself a heart attack OR i can avoid it by taking control". Right there and then I knew without a doubt that I had to CHANGE, that I COULD NO LONGER take the pain, and that IT WAS UP TO ME.

i have never been the same person since. I am better, stronger, wiser from the moment I CHOSE to take control.

My journey has been almost 3 years in the making.......YET IT TOOK that one incident, that one moment, the knowing I could no longer live that way. to transform myself.
I share this with you, because we ALL have issues, we all have excess baggage. It's not the issues we have, but how we deal with them that matters. Whatever you might be experiencing today, please hang in there. You will change, you will get better, but first you need to find that moment, you need to find yourself.

One thing I learned is that you can't fix anything when you are stuck in your negative thoughts. You can't think clearly when all you see is darkness around you. As difficult as it might sound you need TO NOT give up and SEARCH within YOU for the answers to your problem.

You can do this.....don't give up on you.
At times we lack in faith, we say we believe in our higher source, however we have our doubts. Do you agree? If you don't, then i ask, when was the last time you believed beyond doubt that your problems would be resolved? When was the last time you relaxed although not being sure what was coming next? The truth is that many times our faith is tested and we don't pass the test, we don't because our pain, our fear is greater than our faith. I know this because I was there not too long ago. Faith is something we need to practice on a daily basis. We need to practice our belief in our Higher Source, for me that is God, and we also need to practice our belief in ourselves.

Your inner voice is your connection to your Higher source.
When you open your mind and heart you can hear that voice Your inner strength is your connection to your Higher source. When you believe, you push forward because you are empowered.

Open your heart, quiet your mind, explore your inner being, get to know who you are and get reconnected to life.

Just Do It

Just Do It........

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Believe in YOU


BELIEVE is an exercise which requires practice. Some days will be better than others and it will require you to be committed to this exercise in order for you to be successful. We have spent too many years with our old beliefs, doubts and experiences thus being very difficult for you to just snap your fingers and change your belief system. However with focus and determination you CAN DO IT.


You have the ability to meet your goals, get clear on what those goals are, then analyze your current situation.

Identify your main goal, and then break it up into smaller goals.

Example - Do you want a new career?

New Career:

- Education:

o online training

o instructor led training

o professional books / magazines

o learn about the career (get to know what is required from you)

o Take on small responsibilities that will help you learn more of this career.

- Play / Act the part:

o Study those that have the career you want

o Dress as you would if in that line of work

o be prepared



You can do this with any goal. By breaking up your goal into smaller goals, you can begin tackling them without allowing yourself to become frustrated. Remember until you feel confident in yourself, this will require you to practice; that is where smaller goals will help you.

Monday, March 5, 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYkG1Iz4UHA&feature=youtu.be


As seen on Youtube
I go over the 3 key words and what the mean to me in my journey to self discovery.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Painful events

I was getting ready this morning and a thought came to me. Not sure why, however here it goes.

Sometimes we feel victimized by outside forces and we can’t really understand and make sense of it. We feel hurt or attacked by our family, friends, society and even our court systems (the LAW).

When we talk about becoming accountable for our lives, we can’t honestly expect to look for accountability in EVERYTHING that happens as something’s are out of our control. However that is for the individual to know as we all go over our events to make sense of how things happened.

This now leads me to FORGIVENESS. If you have read some of my posts I talk about forgiveness not as a tool to forget or to reconnect with the one(s) that hurt you, instead I talk about forgiveness as a tool to let go of the pain that you feel, forgiving yourself for any emotion that is holding you captive to this event and releasing into the world. You see, when we feel hatred, when our pain is great, we can’t see anything other than the darkness associated with the event. I don’t attempt to understand all painful events as I have not experienced many issues that others have, however I do know from my own experience that re-living our pain on a daily basis keeps us trapped.
I believe that if we were blessed with a new day, then we need to be able to live that new day.

Forgiveness is key….again it’s not to forget and its not to reconnect with the cause of pain, it’s to allow you to live again; letting go of the pain.

I feel in my heart to tell you that your pain is real, but God loves you and is here for you. You are not alone, you just feel alone because of the pain, because of the darkness that surrounds you. Yet God is there with you extending his hand out to you. Forgive, Release and place your Faith in God and he will take you out of your darkness.

God bless you All, especially those who this message might be for.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Be accountable, take charge.

Accountability:
I am responsible for..........
I am liable for..............
I have, I did, I went, I spoke, I looked, I thought, I altered, I.........
You can make up your own. The message here is that we need to be accountable for our thoughts, words and actions. If you look at any event, it is very rare you did not play a part.

I did not ignore that text,
I answered that call
I yelled back
I retaliate against my spouse, child or boss or neighbor

Think back at any event (painful or not), see what your role was and what you could have done differently.

In life there are people that will push your buttons, could be anyone (family, friends, co-worker, etc); getting to understand their impact on our mood or attitude, and how we react, can give us the upper hand. It can empower us to reduce the opportunity for these encounters. Remember, you can't change anyone other than yourself. You can't work to improve how someones mind works, however you have FULL control over YOU.

Be accountable, take charge.

Is this worth it?

When we retaliate against others we are giving more of what we received, thus just going in circles. Simple, “They piss us off, we return the favor, they will come back as to not let it end, and you must continue as you will not allow them to have the last laugh.” This cycle is repeated every day with different players from all walks of life. Many of us don’t realize the pull this ridiculous game has and which keeps us STUCK in a negative state of mind.

While you are in this sentiment, focusing all your energy on getting back at the other, you are not creating the great life you could have. Instead you are giving more power to the current situation and creating more of it.

Is this worth it?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Just Do It

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8976155746368663848#
Awesome speach given in 1987....... One you need to watch..

Stay focused

To reach the TOP you must begin at the BOTTOM
There is no shortcuts, no easy way. You must be ready, willing and able to do the work.  Witn every step you take, you suffer a stumple, a roadblock, a detour, yet that does not matter, because every step you take with determination, with commitment, will help you contiue upward.


Stay focused and be faithful, your journey to the TOP begins at the BOTTOM.

Parenting is not EASY

Being a parent is a tough job.  You find yourself wishing that your kids eventually appreciate what you do for them and you wish they learn the lessons without falling to hard.   You find yourself wanting to protect, yet you don’t help them if you spare them from all the experiences life has to offer.  

I am very close to my kids, yet I find myself in a constant struggle with my oldest as he is in his early twenties and feels that he has all the answers.   He has an attitude and a mouth to go with his beliefs, very stubborn and as you can imagine will not listen.   Sound familiar?  Well, I know I was that kid several years ago, except for the “mouth” as my parents were no joke.  

What can I do?  Not much at this time. I must wait for him to come around.   I must stay open as a loving Mom so that when he does come around, I am here to receive him with open arms.   I am far from a perfect Mom….I know that I have made mistakes and I also know that “I don’t know everything”.  Yet I also know that I love my kids more than they will ever know.   Let me stop myself there…..they will one day know it well, as they will have children of their own and they will love those kids as much as I love them today.

To all the parents out there reading this…..please
do not give up on your kids….NO MATTER how tough it gets.   Some kids are tougher than others and require more time to turn around.   Our love must be persistent throughout time.  One day, they will come around, might be in a day, a week, a month, a year or several years….. We must be patient and faithful.  

Our kids need us, even if they don’t know it.

Reviews of my book

I find it scary to search for reviews, although so far so good.  Today I saw one that was quite funny from a Man who seems to have been forced into reading.   Don't know how that happened, as I have yet to convince my husband to read my book.   HA HA  I guess this lady has skills, she should be writing her own book. 

I am going to attempt to share the reviews, however in case it does not go through correctly, I will add the link. http://www.amazon.com/Life-According-Me-My-Experiences/product-reviews/146854523X/ref=sr_1_1_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1


1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Life According To Me: My Life Experiences, February 22, 2012
This review is from: Life According To Me: My Life Experiences (Paperback)
I enjoyed reading this book. The Author inspired me to take a look at how I was dealing with the events in my life and how I can remove the negativity and replace it with a positive outlook. Even though my responsibilities have not changed my life is less stressful.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Life According To Me: My Life Experiences, February 22, 2012
This review is from: Life According To Me: My Life Experiences (Paperback)
I highly recommend reading this book. This is a true heartfelt look into a persons life experiences. While reading this book, I could totally relate to the issues this author came across in her life's journey. Please take the time to read this. It will help you shed a light on any of your personal experiences you may be going through right now or have gone through.

SUPER BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Signed,
True beliver in Life According to Me
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Sincere and heartfelt, February 22, 2012
This review is from: Life According To Me: My Life Experiences (Paperback)
Great read. I enjoyed this book very much. The writer shares her experiences and lessons learned throughout some difficult times in her life. It is inspirational and makes you realize you are not alone, that others have similar issues to yours, and that you just have to keep going, and never give up. I highly recommend this book to everyone.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Life According To Me: My Life Exprience, February 22, 2012
This review is from: Life According To Me: My Life Experiences (Paperback)
What an inspirational book! I took away so many lessons and ideas that I can apply to my life to really turn it around. It's an easy and pleasurable read and the stories are relatable to my own real life situations today. I highly recommend this to anyone who just needs a little help getting thru a rough patch. I also plan on giving this book as gifts to my friends and family.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Life According to Me: My Life Experiences, March 1, 2012
This review is from: Life According To Me: My Life Experiences (Paperback)
I normally don't like to read, but my wife recently purchased this book through the Authors website and pushed this book on me.
This book starts out like a journal in where the writer talks a lot about accountability. I like that, as I felt she was connecting with both woman and man. She was not telling us about the woman's perspective but talking to us both as people. I was able to keep reading with interest. It was also nice to see someone who is not telling us about their "success", but about her recovery and confidence in her journey.

This is not your common self help book, the writer is not someone who made it to the top and is now telling us what we do wrong, and instead it's someone like my wife and I that has problems but has a positive outlook of life and is ready to make things happen.

As I said, I don't care for reading but I must admit this was an interesting, easy book to read. I did not feel preached to which is perfect as I would have put down the book. If you ask me my favorite part of the book, is it's not about who is right or wrong, it's about taking ownership for whatever your part is. I think this book will do well.
Good luck to the Author and thanks for the kindness in your message.
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