I began my journey to self-discovery in 2008. I call it self-discovery because that is exactly what was about to transpire. I thought I knew who I was, I thought I knew what I wanted, where I was headed. Yet through this process which took 3½ years I learned I knew very little about who I truly was. You see I was raised to live according to rules, expectations, to do things in a certain way. If I followed rules I was a good girl, and I stayed out of trouble. Well the real Eileen, the one I had kept dormant was nothing like the Eileen everyone knew. She had a voice and she was not afraid to use it. The trick was to let her speak. My journey took 3½ years from start to my moment of transformation which came by hitting rock bottom - October 2011!. Like many others who begun their own journey, I kept wondering why I was doing all these new things and still nothing was happening, nothing seemed to be changing. When I finally hit rock bottom I remember feeling ill, feeling like I had wasted my time on nonsense, this "law of attraction" did not work, I was simply a stupid woman reaching out to nothing. Well, let me tell you I quickly realized how wrong I was. You see, in my darkest moments the lessons I had learned throughout this journey were repeating themselves in my mind, it was like I was in school, and now it was
time to be tested. How well did I learn?, Was I really paying attention?, What skills had I acquired? To my surprise, I was like in a debate, I wanted to die out of fear yet I wanted to live out of anger. I had learned that I deserved better, I had learned that I could do more. So what was the issue? What was holding me back? It was in my darkest moment that my eyes opened up and I could finally see. I did not have the answers I needed but I had the solution that would change my life forever........I now understood, that the past had no place in my TODAY and that my FUTURE was dependent of my next step. So in my darkness, I made a choice, and it was one of certainty, one of defiance, I chose to put my problems in the back out of my immediate sight. I imagined myself in a car, I was in the drivers seat, all my problems were in the back seat. I could see them through my rear view mirror yet they were no longer obstructing my view. Before me was the open road of opportunity and as I moved forward each exit sign represented a milestone, reaching each milestone meant reducing or removing a problem. That shift of mindset, the vision of how I was to move forward did not give me the answers instead it gave me the strength i needed to carry on. It gave me the determination I needed to move forward no matter what. It gave me the voice to speak up, because I was now in the driver seat and I was in charge of my life.
I began this page and my Facebook page on 11/16/2011, I was very nervous of doing so, I had doubts of anyone wanting to hear what I had to say. Yet in my mind I knew I had been giving a gift, a gift of hope that needed to be shared with the world. It might not reach everyone, but it will reach those that need it the most. Maybe not everyone would care about my message but yet those that my message was intended for would receive it and would be better for it. I had just survived hitting rock bottom, my life had been spared and I had a new outlook in life. Not one of simple hope but of knowing that life was made to be lived to the fullest, of knowing that we all deserve better than we dare imagine.
Giving hope, helping others get started on their journey with Clarity and definition is my Crusade, it is my purpose. I walk the walk and talk the talk. I am still developing new skills, still working to become the best version of myself. Yet I am clear that with every step I take, I am one step closer to my goal. My role is to help others find their way, that is what wakes me up in the morning and keeps me up at night. I love what I do and I am blessed for the privilege given to me by those that entrust me with their stories.