Define Yourself By The Choices You Make Today!

Yes, the past hurts.....no one can ever debate this!  However the past no matter how painful does not define us. Of course, unless you allow it to do so.

Let's face it, we all screw up and sometimes we do so with a bang....we hit rock bottom and everyone learns about it.   We feel bruised up, shamed and at times we are left confused and wondering what to do next.  Don't worry....you are in good company.   Some may try to hide their mistakes, but rest assured, we all got a story or two in our closet.

So what now?  My mistakes are out in the open, people don't trust me. or except not nothing good from me......what do I do?  Well first off, pay no attention to the "people" and focus on what you need to do to get back on track.   I know....easier said than done, yeah you are right.  But I find it better than living in the shadow of what was and letting others dictate who you are and can be.  But then again, that's just me.

So you screwed up.......OK, the good news is you KNOW IT!  Now, look at your mess, and think "What is the desired outcome?"  Now don't think of snapping your fingers and making it go away cause you know that shit don't work.  Instead let's get serious....."What can I do to improve my situation?"   Well, the first thing is to stop crying or wallowing in self pity.   It is what it is.....now to pick up the pieces.   Get clear on what you want in life.....do it FOR YOU.  In my case I do it for my Daughter and me.   Why?  Cause she motivates me to be better...you see me being strong, and capable of creating is the best legacy I can leave to her.

So what motivates you?  What is your, "WHY?" Figure this out, because this will be what gives you the strength and commitment to pick up the pieces of your life, to clean up the mess and to use what's left to build a better future.

You are not defined by yesterday.....you are defined by what you create right now.  So what's it going to be?  Hmmmmmm the truth is, it's entirely up to you......it's your life, so connect to self, understand your purpose and live your life committed to fulfilling that purpose.

If someone wants to judge you or keep you a prisoner of your past, don't worry, instead understand that they too belong in the past....and focus on the future.   Don't let the noise of the past keep you from seeing, hearing and recognizing the beautiful sounds of the future.

Ah and remember; Tomorrow depends on what you do today, or better yet, Right Now!
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I met an amazing woman today while at the beach!

I met an amazing woman today while at the beach!

I went to the beach needing to get away from the busy day and chaos......as I walked toward the water I saw a woman and I decided to place my chair near her. I did not approach her as I needed to unwind. I then got up to take this video and of course I made my way into the water and soon was soaking wet. I love the water so I could not help but smile, and there she was just a few feet away from me. So what do I do? Well what I always do, I walked over smiled and began chatting. So happens that I was walking toward the woman who was about to coach me. She was about to coach me on relationships, men and learning how to reach out to people without expectations. I don't know how we got into the topic but we did and it was funny as she spoke to me so eloquently, she told me what I already know...yet I know it in a professional environment she was bringing it to life in relationships.

I was being coached and it was being done on the beach when I needed it most. Dating for me has been a challenge.....the truth is that is the one area I have not been able to master. I am great as a professional, great as a friend and I love people but trusting love, allowing myself to give myself to love is a true challenge. So meeting this beautiful woman who could be my mother was a gift, a gift from God. She spoke the language I could understand, the words I needed to hear and she did it in a way I could relate and feel at ease.

She is not a coach but for me today, she sure was! We can all be a coach, a mentor, we can do so much when we allow ourselves to connect and we are open to being a vessel of love from our Heavenly Father.

Thank you to this beautiful woman and thank you to God for having brought us together

Eileen Gonzalez - Life According to Me : Crying is Not a Sign of Weakness!

Eileen Gonzalez - Life According to Me : Crying is Not a Sign of Weakness!: Eileen Gonzalez - Life According to Me Crying is not Weakness! I have come to understand why I saw crying as weakness.  Now, my rea...

Crying is Not a Sign of Weakness!

Eileen Gonzalez - Life According to Me

Crying is not Weakness!

I have come to understand why I saw crying as weakness.  Now, my reason does not hold up as the absolute truth in life yet it has been how I chose to view it for most of my adult life. 

You see, I stopped trusting people…..I expected the worse.  I expected to be abandoned, to be not loved and to have to do things for myself.   Of course, it was not always that way as this became my truth as a young adult.  I did not realize it then but I was in survival mode every day, not survival from abuse but from a deep loneliness. I was trying to figure out life with all the pressures that came with life and with others creating chaos for me to clean up.


It felt as if I had no voice; I did not think I could change me or anything thus I lived in a vicious cycle in which the mistakes we / I made were repeated over and over again.

So what did I do?  I toughened up.  But how did I do it?  I shut myself down…..I kept people at bay, protecting myself from feeling.  Did it work?  Well for a while I thought it did and in fact while married it was probably the best way to cope.  Yet once I was on my own, not so much.   You see, I was still protecting myself from all the same things but from whom?  I was shut down to feeling but who was I keeping out?  Actually I was keeping myself out of discovering, of learning how to feel, how to give the best of me.  The funny thing is that I was very good at giving the best of me in a professional way…..my failure was in my personal life.  To me being a professional came easy and I felt safe which was not true when it come to me as a woman.

I have come to learn that crying is not weakness but it makes us stronger.  You see it allows us to connect, to react to feel and to come to term with our emotions, with what we want and need.  It allows us to cleanse the soul and in some crazy way it allows us to pick ourselves up and just be.

I am taking baby steps when it comes to vulnerability as you can see from these words…..vulnerability was not a word in my vocabulary but slowly I am learning that we need to be OK with such feelings.  We need to learn how to feel because that is how we discover our true self. 

Betrayal.....No It's Not OK!

Yes…they betrayed me….but it’s OK?   Seriously???

I have a problem with that statement however from what I see there are many women and some men who live life with that statement tattooed on their forehead. How many times does the, “I messed up, I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again” work? How many tears do you have to cry or better yet how many tears are you willing to cry for someone who does not respect or value you? And why do you think that person will learn to respect and value you if all you do is fight, argue and then pretend it never happened? If you were teaching your kids to pick up after themselves and all you did was nag; then go clean it up, they will continue to create the mess. They will act like they care while you are arguing but that will be short lived and soon after they will no longer hear your nagging….they will have tuned you out because you will never stand up for yourself.

I see people from both genders who go about pretending life is great….I guess if they smile for a picture with their loved one, no one will know of the betrayal. Well if we want to live in denial then go ahead but the only one in denial land is you…..because everyone else knows the truth.

If you don’t stand up for yourself and for what is right…..then never complain and don’t just blame
he or she who betrays you as you did nothing about it!

Love and Respect starts with you......so treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others.  

Respect Yourself or Don't Complain!

Eileen Gonzalez

Yes…they betrayed me….but it’s OK!

I have a problem with that statement however from what I see there are many women and some men who live life with that statement tattooed on their forehead. How many times does the, “I messed up, I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again” work? How many tears do you have to cry or better yet how many tears are you willing to cry for someone who does not respect or value you? And why do you think that person will learn to respect and value you if all you do is fight, argue and then pretend it never happened? If you were teaching your kids to pick up after themselves and all you did was nag; then go clean it up, they will continue to create the mess. They will act like they care while you are arguing but that will be short lived and soon after they will no longer hear your nagging….they will have tuned you out because you will never stand up for yourself.

I see people from both genders who go about pretending life is great….I guess if they smile for a picture with their loved one, no one will know of the betrayal. Well if we want to live in denial then go ahead but the only one in denial land is you…..because everyone else knows the truth.

If you don’t stand up for yourself and for what is right…..then never complain and don’t just blame
he or she who betrays you as you did nothing about it!

Respect yourself....if not they won't and if you accept it, then don't complain!

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It's About Attitude!

Eileen Gonzalez

Let's face it, life will throw us a curve ball from time to time and moping around, feeling sorry for our luck is not going to make things better....instead it will make matters worse.    So what do we do?  We change our attitude!  You see, our attitude toward people, things and circumstances will determine what happens next.  Yes, I know;  some things are hard to ignore.  However no one is telling you to ignore it, instead look at it from a learning perspective, find the lesson and learn it well.  Use the experience for growth and in time the sting will be less.

Our attitude will determine what happens next and since you can't change others nor undo what is done....the next best thing is to change your attitude and choose to move on.

SKIN DEEP!

Eileen Gonzalez

Being without make up can be a bit scary for some of us....lol

We may feel exposed or overwhelmed at our imperfections. But I have learned that when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, when we are open to sharing how we think and how we feel, when we are truly honest, then we are showing the real us.

The make up is just covering up the skin.....but who we are goes deeper.......it's SKIN DEEP......

Don't be afraid of feeling....don't be afraid of letting others see that you're human because there is a beauty that comes from being the real you

Man Plans but God Directs

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Many years ago before I began my journey to a better me, I used to make plans but I never put my trust in GOD.  Instead I would plan for it and when things did not work out, I would be pissed; of course at GOD because nothing seemed to work for me.   But once I began this journey which was of reconnecting with self, I found myself connecting to GOD.   I came to realize that we are creators of our destiny however GOD is front and center of it all.  You see GOD instills in us a dream, a purpose and it is our responsibility to fulfill it.  These dreams, this purpose turns into a fire within us and it pushes us to create, to move and to transform ourselves.  When we are not in alignment with our purpose we become frustrated and we begin to display negative behavior.  Those are all signs that we are not in alignment with the person we are supposed to be.   This is my belief and it is because of this belief that I know that I can and will plan for better yet I know that GOD is directing my steps and changing me from within to ensure that I become the person I was always intended to be in accordance to His vision and to fulfill the purpose He prepared me to fulfill. 

Plan for a great life, but put GOD first; know that He knows you better than you do and that with His guidance and your faith, you shall live the life you were meant to live, fulfill the purpose you were meant to fulfill and become the amazing person you were meant to be. 

Not Just Coincidence!

Eileen Gonzalez

There is something greater at work than coincidence.  There is a reason why people meet; there is a reason why someone or something catches your eye even if for just one second.  There is a reason you overheard a conversation, a noise, a song or a cry.  There is a reason why we come across roadblocks, barriers and challenges.    


Life does not always make sense and sometimes understanding what is happening takes times and maybe somethings will NEVER be understood.  But I believe from my personal experiences, the good and the bad that I have met every person who has helped me on my journey.  Some made me cry much, some made me laugh and others left me questioning myself and that around me.   No matter what they did in my life they left me with a lesson…….some were painful lessons, but never the less valuable. 

Today as I welcome new people into my life, new challenges and experiences I do so with a happy go lucky attitude.  Why?  Because I don’t have a crystal ball to predict my future but I have faith in my Higher Source who tells me to keep moving in faith and in time all the questions I have will be answered and all the fears I have will fade in light and all the dreams that I have will become reality.  How?  Well by simply walking in faith and accepting that I know nothing more than I am a Woman who is undergoing change; I am work in progress, being molded by every person, event and thing that comes into my life. 


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The China Cabinet

When I was a young girl I remember my Mom would save her best china for the guests....she would store them in her China Cabinet. It was beautiful and she kept it sparkling clean. She loved how it just displayed everything in an elegant way. I always found it annoying because I thought I was better than the guest. LOL I thought; " I want to use those fancy plates all the time". Of course, I didn't, I knew better!

Why is this post relevant to me right now? Well because GOD has bestowed upon each and every one of us gifts, talents, potential and a purpose. Yet MANY of us go about life with those talents stored away. Some know they have them and they boast of what they can do but for some reason they don't - think China Cabinet. While others prefer to think of such as a dream that just can't ever come to fruition.

Think of this if you dare......Why the hec would GOD bestow upon us a vision if He knew we could not achieve it? Why in the world would GOD waste a talent on us if we did not possess the ability to bring it to life.

Stop storing those gifts, start living the life you are meant to live by WALKING IN FAITH and that starts by knowing GOD gave these to you and believing you can do more than you've done so far!

By the way.......my good china is for everyday use by everyone!