I recognize that throughout my school years, I was not the best of students. In fact, although I enjoy reading, I need to focus and sometimes re-read a passage to better understand the message. I've always been that way. As a young adult I was able to achieve a 3.8 score, but that came from burying myself in the books. I busted my ass for that grade, getting good grades did not come natural to me. Language be it Spanish or English was not my favorite subject, thus you can imagine how well I did with grammar. I speak fast and sometimes my mind seems to be speeding even faster than my mouth, so I have to calm myself down in order to clearly communicate my thoughts. So how am I writing? Well my apologies to all those professional writers who can teach me a thing or two in this subject. However when I decided to begin writing it was because I felt I could communicate better through the written word rather than in speaking. I felt that by writing I would be able to control the speed of my mind and be able to convey the message in the most effective way. So one day, I began writing and trust me when I say, I was quickly reminded by some on my lack of skill. Some came to my page and attempted to ridicule me while others, well others simply needed to point out my mistakes. At first it bothered me, but soon after I realized, I could learn from these corrections. After all I was not looking to enroll in a writing course, I simply wanted to speak, I wanted to communicate with you. I wanted to share a message of hope, a message of light. I wanted to let you know that no matter how hard this moment may be, that it would not last forever, thus something better would come your way. I believe in this message because it saved my life, and I feel that it is my responsibility to share this message of hope with everyone who wants to read my words.
Imagine if I would have allowed my lack of writing skill to keep me from communicating? Imagine how sad it would be for me to keep this message to myself for fear of ridicule? On the contrary, the choice of trying something new, served me as the best type of education. I am not the best writer, I don't have the best vocabulary, however I have lots of love to share and communicate with you.
Trying something new was essential for me, because not only did I learn to do what I wanted but I also learned that I was capable of doing more than I thought. I learned to expose myself and accepting criticism and using it as a teachable moment. But most of all, this has given me the tools that I needed to stand before you and tell you without hesitation, that if you want to try something you need to be willing to simply do it. Fear comes in many forms, it can be that nagging voice telling you that you are not smart enough, it can come in visions of ridicule, it can come to you as thoughts of failure. Its not the same thing to fear something that can harm you from something that can just hurt your feelings. If our greatest fear is getting our feelings hurt then we need to understand that we are stronger and tougher than those feelings. Those feelings are just a temporary response to something.......yet we can use those feelings in two ways. We can choose to use the feelings as a catalyst toward growth, or we can choose to use those feelings as a form of limitation, we choose!
When I first started my page, I was plagued with fear. I was unsure if I could capture any one's interest, I was fearful of being ridiculed and I was not sure about myself in general. Was my message enough or strong enough to help anyone? But despite those thoughts of fear I chose to move on. The desire to communicate this message of hope was greater than the thoughts of fear.
What are you wanting to try?
What is keeping you from trying?
If you didn't care of what others said, what would you be willing to try right now?
That last one is probably the most important question because many times we don't try because
we are too afraid about what others will say. Look, on my page I have heard it all, from being sent to hell, to being told not to show my ugly face, and ridiculed due to my weight. Some people have no problem being cruel behind the safety of their computers. But "who cares?" How can the comments of others truly affect me? The truth is they can't. I went from wanting everyone to love me and follow my page to understanding that only those that need to hear this message will be attracted to it; and that is how it should be. I just like you, am to reach the people that are to read my words and it has nothing to do with me. It has to do with our paths being intended to connect; be it for a moment or a lifetime. Think about it, over 8 billion people on social media and I will probably never connect with all of them.....but out of that huge population, the ones that need the message will find their way to my page.
We can't focus on those that don't connect or like us, we need to focus on the intent behind that which we want to do.
Why do you want to do this?
How will your life change?
How will this thing you do impact the lives of others?
We need to be clear on what we want and why we want it, because this understanding is what will
help us stay the course. We will feel fear, we will wonder if we are on track, we will second guess ourselves, all of this is natural, however none of it is intended to stop us. Remember what I said, "I learned to accept the criticism as a teachable moment". This is true with all those challenges, set backs and moments of doubt. We are being taught on how to do that which we want to do.
How do we decipher what we truly want from all the random ideas that come to mind? Let's think of these ideas as part of huge puzzle. Some ideas are really part of another, but they appear as small glimpses. Write them down, don't discard anything. The thing you want to do the most is that thought that nags at you the most, its probably been with you for years and if not its simply loudly calling out for attention. Do you know what that is? Write it down.
Once you pin point that thing you would really like to do, try to see how the random ideas tie in. I have two boards in my room, and yes both have notes. In fact today, my daughter told me she wanted one as she needed to organize her thoughts. But getting back to these ideas, writing them down allows you to visualize and begin to connect the dots. Remember a puzzle has many parts and when you first open the box, you have a mess of pieces before you and now you have to try to connect them. Some parts seem to belong at first, but as you look closer you realize they are not the perfect fit. Do you throw it away? NO! You know that as you continue on this puzzle you will find the right place for that piece.
This is part of the nagging idea wanting to be fulfilled. It is giving you glimpses of how to get started. The problem is do we listen or ignore? If we give in to fear we will ignore but that nagging idea will continue to bother you. This is why some of us get frustrated with life.....we want more but we don't pursue it. We feel there is more we can do, but we are afraid to fail. Life is a big puzzle and when we complete the puzzle of life, we will have come face to face with our purpose.
There is so much I am yet to discover about me, I love writing and I am working on my next book. There are times I too wonder what is next, and what should or could I be doing differently? I know that I can do more, but like many; there are times that I too entertain doubt, and become critical of myself....yet those instances are teachable moments. Because through those moments I am forced to choose, and how I choose will provide me with the next lesson, open a door or close it.
Don't fear tying something new, because that something is tied to the person you are meant to be!