How I Started Writing by Joseph Verrilli

How I Started Writing

As a teenager I'd always wanted to be a writer. There were several writers I had great respect for, and my dream was to emulate them; to be LIKE them. I had dreams of becoming a famous writer, seeing my books on the shelves of bookstores; I even had dreams of being on the bestseller list, with books full of words that came from inside Me. I have not yet accomplished this dream yet I still pursue it as a dream without action is only a wish.

As an adolescent, teenager and even as an adult, I've struggled with anxiety, low self-esteem and lack of confidence in myself. My particular environment while growing up didn't help matters any, didn't help me to overcome these conditions. It wasn't long until I ended up at a mental health clinic, in both individual and intensive group therapy. I talked and talked about my life, my problems, about everything that had been bothering me. And, inevitably,  holding me back.

My mentor, only a year older than me, helped me to get interested in many of the things that still interest me: among them, film and reading novels and esoteric poetry. He moved away, as fate would have it, but we kept in touch by letter and phone. He was a big influence on me. But he did something during the summer of 1990 that changed my life:

He wrote me a very angry letter, heavily criticizing me for doing nothing with the creativity he sensed lay dormant inside me. In the letter was a lot of name-calling and severe criticism of me as 'a lazy good-for-nothing.' (In later years he would tell me that he was only trying to motivate me. Well. It worked.)

I began writing poetry that summer, and I have to admit many of my early efforts were just awful! Sophomoric, terribly written. But I kept at it, attempting to improve as a poet and as a writer. By November of 1993, I had my first poem published in an alternative press magazine in Michigan. I stared and stared at the page on which my poem was featured. It felt like a dream, so hard to believe, but there it was, a poem of mine in print, which dozens or maybe a hundred or more people would be reading. It gave me a much-needed sense of accomplishment.

Through that publication I got to find out about other poetry journals, newsletters and magazines, and to correspond with an "underground" small press poet with quite a reputation among his peers. Through this correspondence I came into contact with several other poets and writers, most of whom gave me the same advice: do a lot of reading and writing-writing-writing until you find your writing "voice."

So that is how I proceeded. Writing some "bad poetry" at the very beginning is just part of the process: one has to start SOMEWHERE. Writing became, for me, something I couldn't live without! I depended on it heavily to express myself, writing about my life, experiences, dreams and loves. I was told that the harder I worked at this, the better at it I would become. I didn't feel so confident about that happening, but others did, and would compliment me. I'd gotten myself a "reputation," something I had always wanted, more than money.

The key, from my own experience, is to stay with something you love doing, keep at it, work at it and never give up.



by Joseph Verrilli
September 17, 2013