I have had weight problems all my life, in fact I was a big baby. However throughout the years I came to realize my weight fluctuated depending on my mood, my emotions. Give me a little stress and I ran for that ice cream. Weight issues were a part of my day to day. So much so, that I began to define my intelligence by my weight. When I lost weight I felt smarter, more assertive. However when I gained weight I felt clumsy, insecure and I felt that all others saw was my weight. Well that was how I saw myself and as a result I carried myself in a way that others could not see past my own emotions. I did not walk tall or proud, instead I displayed shame and insecurity.
I had the luck to meet women who were as big or somewhat bigger who did not seem to allow their weight to define them. I actually have one in mind who would walk into a room and own the attention of her audience. She was big but most of all she was fabulous. She was assertive, level headed and very articulate. I admired her.......but how was it possible that she could be so confident while I wasn't?
OK......so why was I allowing myself to be heavy? It was clear through my life that I could lose weight so why was it so hard to keep it off? Because I was not happy! You see at some point in my life I stopped dreaming, I gave up on pursuing better or pushing myself. I simply accepted what I knew as if it were all I could have or be. Sounds familiar? It should because too many of us get on the train to no where. We board it with low expectations and as it begins to move we lose our willingness to dream. We even get annoyed at ourselves when we catch ourselves daydreaming of better.
So, one pound at a time, it kept on piling on and the more depressed I felt the more ice cream I ate.
I hate saying this.....but not til my divorce did I find myself in a good place to begin losing weight. I can't blame my then husband for my weight.....I blame me. I blame me for boarding that train and to pushing my dreams away. I blame me because when I would get a sense of hope, I was quick to convince myself that I was being naive. So what have I learned?
I learned that we must want more....we need to envision what we want and understand why we want it. We need to get clear on how our lives would improve upon achieving such goal and even more, we need to get clear on what it would mean NOT to achieve it. You see, without your "WHY" it will be much harder to commit to your goal. So what did losing weight mean to me? To me, losing weight meant freedom, it meant feeling empowered and it meant feeling proud of finally reaching something that felt impossible for so long. How do I do this if I've been up and down so often?
I best be ready to work for it! Goals are not achieved over night and are not sustained by just reaching them. Goals require work, commitment and a belief we can move forward despite the challenges ahead of us. We must be ready for the set backs and see them as part of the learning process. If we don't learn from the past we will repeat the same mistakes that got us there.
Be it losing weight, running a marathon, graduating, or finding an amazing job....whatever it is you want you must see it in your mind, believe you can achieve it and GIVE IT YOUR ALL. Set backs are not intended to stop you but as teaching moments, stay the course, you will see results. Keep moving forward and you will achieve.
- Get clear on WHY its important to you?
- Envision yourself achieving your goal
- Commit to it with all your heart
- Hold yourself accountable - be true to self even when it hurts
- Compete......not with others but with your old mindset
- Believe.....you must believe you can do more even when your goal seems far from reach
- Celebrate....everyday you work toward your goal is a day closer to achieving it, so pat yourself on the back for those steps you take even if baby steps
Don't give up on your goals......stay focused and remember your biggest competitor is the old version of you.
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