Military family - Joining the Military

When my Son closed the door behind him in my room, I had no idea he what he wanted to talk about. 
As with many parent / child relationships, the teen age years are difficult and you never know what you are going to hear.   Well, he looked at me straight in the eye and asked me, "What would you say if I told you I want to join the Marines?:  I looked at him and truthfully did not know how to answer that, but I dug deep inside and responded, " I never wanted you to go to the Military and I do not want this for you, however if this is what you really want I will support you".  Well, he had already set up an appointment for us to meet the recruiter that Friday.  He was serious of his decision.   Come Friday, My husband and I accompanied our son to the recruiting station and waited our turn.   As I am sitting there I am listening to a young man with his father telling the recruiter he wanted to move in the date of his departure and wanted to change his career and sign up for Infantry.  As a mother.......my heart sank, I did not like the sound of that and knew that I could protest and stomp my feet but it would be up to my son.  Don't you hate that?  They grow up, and now you are just watching them make decisions regarding their life.  Like you, I would prefer talking about the college he wanted to go, or technical school, anything close to home.  However sending my boy away to the military in war time.......this was not what i wanted. 

It was now my turn, and before my husband could speak I told the recruiter I needed his help getting my son into a career that would keep him away from the front lines. The recruiter smiled and proceeded to help me.  We both knew that all my efforts depended of my son's wishes, at the end I could only suggest but not dictate what he was to do. 

My son left  home 7/12/2009, we drove him to the recruiting station, needless to say it was a very sad day. He was very excited with his decision,  he was going to be on his own, out of the house and doing something new.  For us, we were sending him to the Military, and knew it would be a matter of time before he would be deployed.  Sending him off was the hardest thing we ever did.

To parents of  teens who are thinking of the Military,  I have some tips for you.

• Listen - listen to their reasons and goals
• Options - review options with them that can help them meet those goals
• review brochures of colleges or technical schools they could attend
• review the career options in the military branch of his preference
• Support - offer them support and encouragement on their decision  "whatever that might be"

The most important thing for your kid is to know you support their decision,  but they need to know what you want for them as well. This will be very important as once your kid is on his own,  he/she will think back at the decisons made, and it is important that they understand that you as a parent provided them with all the information available, and at the end you supported his/her decision.

Its been 2 ½ years since he left to the Marines, and I remember that day as if it were yesterday.   My son currently lives in San Diego, Camp Pendleton.  I miss him dearly, and don't hear from him as much as I would like.  I am very proud of my son,  the Marines was a good decision for him, he matured faster than if he would have stayed home, however just like any other Mom......I wish I had him home all the time.