Life According to Me - the Book

Life According to Me is expected to be released by 2nd quarter 2012. 
When I began writing the book I felt that there were many people going through similar
experiences as I was and I wanted to reach them.  However as I continued writing, something happened. 
I was going through some difficult times that were due to the effects of my past mistakes and as I continued writing I was transformed.  All of a sudden, the effects that were haunting me took a back seat and my main focus became my new goals.   Life According to Me has become my life line and I am very proud of this journey.   I hope that this book touches others as it has done for me.

Are you where you expected to be?

Think back at your late teen / young adult years.  

1. What were your dreams? 
2. What did you expect your life to be like?  

Are you where you expected to be?   
If yes, fantastic, you must be in control of who you are and what you want.
If no,  What do you think went wrong?

You might already know what got in the way of your vision, however some are not so clear on "the what happened?", or "what went wrong?"
Understanding what you wanted / and currently want;  is very important as you have changed throughout the years, meaning your desires most likely have changed as well.   Understanding what kept you from fulfilling your prior goals is also key as this could have been caused by behaviors (blocks) which you still might be dealing with.   

These behaviors (blocks) need to be removed in order for you to achieve your goals.  You have seen their power in your life......they have stopped you from achieving what you wanted. However once you get clear and focused on your goals you can regain your power by removing these blocks from your life.  You might still feel the presence of such blocks but not be consumed by them.  When this happens you are in full control and ready to move on towards your goal.

I find this exercise to be very important as we learn from our past.  We don't want to relive our mistakes or painful events however we do want to find the lessons learned and use them to move forward. 

Another thing that is very important.....no matter what has kept you from achieving your goals......once you are clear...you have the opportunity to chase your dreams again.  

Its never too late as long as you are alive and well.

Life doesn't always go as planned

This week we approached the Christmas Holiday....in my house this time of the year is huge...
I personally love Christmas, it just makes me want to be better in general.

Monday, came in with a bang, day started going well yet towards mid to late afternoon
life just began doing its own thing.   I had an argument with someone close whom I love,   my husband fell ill and required emergency surgery and Christmas was promising to be ruined.   As I sat in the ER with my husband having heard the surgeon tell us of the issue,  I felt that despite Christmas being almost ruined, we were in the situation we were as God was saving my husbands life.   You see my husband does not like doctors, he will not go unless HE HAS TO......He had been complaining for months of having stomach problems, digesting his food and getting the runs each time.  He blamed it on the food.   Being that there was no specific menu affecting him I told him to go to the doctor.  His response, "I dont have money for the doctor".  The pain began again on Sunday,  he continued to do his thing throughout the day,  however went to bed early that night as he really felt worn out.   The next day he went to work and the pain continued, he called me to tell me about the pain however continued to refuse to seek help.   During lunch period, same day, he felt a sharp pain which moved through his crotch and lower back, at this point he could no longer stand straight.....he was in sever pain, he decided to call me and have me schedule an appointment which i quickly did.  

The Doctor sent my husband to the ER as she suspected Apendicitis or Hernia.......I met up with him that afternoon to later find out he had Acute Perforated Diverticulitus.   He requierd an emergency operation as their was infection and severe pain.   The "fun" was about to begin.  

I don't need my husband....I want my husband.....I want to be old with him, sit back and think back at the life we have shared and the stories we have survived and when something like this shows up, you kind of refocus on that long term goal.   I did not want to risk that dream of being with my husband, I love that man.  I love him as he is, faults and all.   After all, he tolerates me pretty well as well. 

After the surgery they told us he would spend Christmas at the hopital.....no way around that.

The original plans were...... to go to the city on Christmas Eve with my son who is coming home from Military leave (USMC) and Christmas Day at my sisters.   New Years Eve, we were hosting a party.  

Our plans now..... are to play it by ear.....and be thankful he went to the doctor on time and fixed the problem.

I honestly believe God made his pain worse to force him to go to the doctor, as if he would have waited as he intended to do,  the infection caused by the rupture would have poisened his insides.  

Life doesn't always go as planned...yet when things happen rather than be upset, you need to analyze why they happened, you just might find something great and beyond your comprehension at work.

I am thankful my husband will have a full recovery and going forward I will make sure he goes to the doctor as needed without waiting to the last minute.    I am thankful for second chances.......

Happy Holidays / Merry Christmas

What do you really want in your life?

Do you know what you want?  When was the last time you asked yourself that question?
Was your response quick and to the point?  Were you happy with your response?

Due to our up bringing and ideas we sometimes believe we know what we want, which basically is in line
with what others expect from us.  However that does not make us happy, instead leaves us empty feeling as we are just living without direction.   If this is you......you need to stop whatever you are doing and QUESTION yourself,  Don't accept anything but the honest truth.

1. How do I feel about myself?
2. What do I want?
3. Where do I see myself in the next (timeline)?

You need to get clear on who you are to know what it is you truly want and to be prepared

to achieve those goals.

Don't settle for what you have; due to others expectations.....be whom you want to be for yourself.

You can only be the best version of yourself when you are true to yourself.

You owe it to yourself.

You are greater than you THINK

You are stronger than you think, you are smarter than you think, you are much more than you think. You were put on this earth because you mean something, you are here because your presence is valuable to all those that you meet and those you have not met yet. Look at yourself in the mirror and fall in love with YOU and go out into the world and smile at everyone you meet even if they don't smile back, because that precious smile even though ignored, might be that moment which that person recalls as he/she thinks back at their day....that smile you offer can be what saves another that felt alone with no hope. You are more than you will ever know.....go out and give the world the best of YOU

PEACE

We seek peace in our lives although we might not call it peace at the time, we seek something that will calm us down, we want to get what we need in our lives; remove the turmoil of living in debt, in sadness, alone. Many of us are searching for something, not knowing what it is.

We need to give love to receive love, give respect to receive respect, give consideration to receive consideration, give peace to receive peace. 

Peace will come when we begin giving what we want rather than waiting for others to just
give to us.

May you find peace in your heart and in your life.   Life is too short to live it in turmoil.

Live according to you

I just saw a commercial from Chanel in where a young man speaks to a group of people and says " I will no longer be what is expected for me to be", and walks out.   What a powerful statement that is. 

I refuse to be or conform to what others want me to be, say or do.   That type of power comes from
being clear on Who you Are, What you Want and Where you are Going.   If you look through many of my posts, you will see the same theme,  GET TO KNOW YOURSELF.  There is so much power with this action.   By getting clear on yourself you unlock the doors that seemed to be closed.   These doors were not closed because you were not good, they seemed shut because you were not prepared to be who you were meant to be.

I will no longer be what is expected for me to be!  Love it.

Determination

No matter how much skills you have, if you don't have drive or determination, you won't do much with your skills.  You see this all the time,  a person can have talent or the ability to do (fill in the blank), yet not use their talent.  "What if I am not good enough?"  is one of the many excuses they might use.    You bring in someone with determination, drive and regardless of not having the same amount of skill, they FIND A WAY.  

Detemination is key to your success.  If you feel that drive to try something new..GO FOR IT
Look back in history and you will find that the people that made most impact in our lives did so by overcoming challenges and by failing and trying again.   DETERMINATION is KEY

Christmas is my favorite holiday

Christmas is here.....12 days more to go.  What makes this holiday special for you?

I will start.....I am like a kid when it comes to Christmas, i love everything about it. "Everything" Love the music, the movies, that we celebrate the birthday of Christ and of course...the kid in me loves Santa too

Hope to hear from you

Book Writing Tips That Work

Book Writing Tips That Work

Just wanted to share these great tips from Jeff Goins writer......
http://goinswriter.com/book-writing-tips/

Change starts with YOU

If i told you that I could change your life, would you be interested? If I told you i could sell you a product that could make you better, would you be interested? You might be as we are all looking for that fast acting change that happens without much effort. But what if i told you there is no one out there that can humanly change your life? What if i told you there is no product you can buy that will make you better? All you need is within YOU. You know how to change and you know what needs to be done, however you need to be ready to commit your time to the process. Can you buy a product to help you in the process? YES, however the product alone will not make it happen.......its all up to YOU.

Get clear on who you are and what you want......
You need to change yourself before you attempt to change the world.  

New work week

Start your Monday with determination.  Write down your goals for this week and check them off as you accomplish them.  Treat this with the same dedication as if it were an instruction provided by your employer.   The only difference is that you are the benefactor of this accomplishment. 

Stay focused, don't procrastinate. 

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Listening to others tell their story

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Listening to others tell their story: One thing I have learned is to listen to others and hear what they have to say. Everyone has something to say and they should be heard. ...

Listening to others tell their story

One thing I have learned is to listen to others and hear what they have to say.   Everyone has something to say and they should be heard.   This week I was blessed to hear from two ladies as to some struggles they faced "health wise".   Without giving their story away, both ladies had the attitude to get better for themselves and their loved ones.  I truly enjoyed listening to both and I wish them both lots of blessings in their lives.

Attitude is so important as how you feel about your situation can bring more of those feelings into reality.

I was told by my doctor when I went in with chest pain, and trouble breathing that I was going through anxiety.  I was told i was healthy, with no concerns other than stress.   I was told to take care of my stress as the feelings causing anxiety could actually make me sick.   As soon as I was told that I had nothing to worry about, I refocused my energy to what was important to me and took away the power from the stress.  I figured,  I am not able to fix my problems by stressing,  I can only fix them by controlling the situation.

Life might not seem easy but you need to play your role and give it all the best of yourself. 
Remember you will go through your challenge regardless, however the attitude you face it with will determine your outcome.   

God bless the ladies that shared their stories with me.......Best of luck

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Life According to Me "Book"

LIFE ACCORDING TO ME: Life According to Me "Book": I am writing my first book which will be titled as my page “life according to me”, this book is a project of love in which I reflect on my l...

SITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

This site is under construction to better serve our readers.
The purpose of this blog is to offer positive reinforcing messages that will help those in times of struggle to prepare themselves better.   The key to a better day, week, month year.....starts with your attitude toward life.  

I know all about feeling down and my goal with this site is to reach those with need and return the favor that I received 2 years ago......a glimpse of hope.

You are not alone....we are in this together

Thank you for your patience.......
Please stop again soon.......

Eileen Gonzalez

Doing what you love

It is said that when you do what you love, you don't even realize you are doing it.  Right now I am in the most exciting time of my life.  I am so excited that stress and uncertainty has taken a back seat to this excitement. I don't know what will come out of my projects but I can tell you that I am enjoying exploring the options and dedicating my time to such projects. 

So I guess the key is to find what you love and give all your energy and dedication to that thing.......

How to get clear on what you want?

Take out a notebook and write down the following questons:
Who am I?
What do I want?
What am I thankful for?
What do I need to improve?

It is important that your answers be positive vs. negative.  You want to focus on what you have, what you can work with instead of getting stuck on what you are not or do not have.   Staying positive might not be easy at first but it can be done. 

How to get clear on what you want

No matter your age,  you might not know what you want.   This is true for most cases.   If you don't believe it, look around and observe the people around you,  listen to them. Many of them are frustrated, finding reasons to complain about everything.  They are victims.....victims of their own choices.   You and I are living the life we chose.  No one got you into debt, no one made you speed and crash, no one made you get in the car drunk, no one made you say the things you said.  Whatever you did, you did it without any one's help.   How do you change?

First, you need to recognize that what you have been doing is not working and that you deserve better.
Second, you need to get clear on who you are, what you want and where you are going.   Sound easy?  Well think again, cause its not.   Its taken me two years to fully understand ME.

No Matter What - Lisa Nichols

Lisa Nichols taught me to meditate or get yourself in complete silence.  She tells us to sit in the center of your bed, in complete silence, close your eyes and become centered.  Get in communication with your higher source.  

•  Meditate to get into a peaceful state of mind.  
• Write down what you think you want
• this exercise should be done often, you will be surprised at how you will be forced to really dig deep to find what you want out of life
• Think about your goals on a daily basis,  it helps to begin first thing in the morning.
• I find that if you go to bed thinking of your goals in a positive light, it stays with you throughout the night.   If you go to bed thinking of your current situation, you will either not sleep well or wake up in a negative state of mind.
• Set your plan in action
• Thinking about what you want is important, as thoughts create things, however you can't just think and wish things will occur.   You must act, you must take action to make those goals a reality.

In order to get to know YOURSELF, You need to ask yourself the tough questions, and be prepared to  be brutally honest in your responses.  No beating around the bush , no looking for excuses.  This is your life, and you need to be clear.   You owe this to yourself.

Military family - Joining the Military

When my Son closed the door behind him in my room, I had no idea he what he wanted to talk about. 
As with many parent / child relationships, the teen age years are difficult and you never know what you are going to hear.   Well, he looked at me straight in the eye and asked me, "What would you say if I told you I want to join the Marines?:  I looked at him and truthfully did not know how to answer that, but I dug deep inside and responded, " I never wanted you to go to the Military and I do not want this for you, however if this is what you really want I will support you".  Well, he had already set up an appointment for us to meet the recruiter that Friday.  He was serious of his decision.   Come Friday, My husband and I accompanied our son to the recruiting station and waited our turn.   As I am sitting there I am listening to a young man with his father telling the recruiter he wanted to move in the date of his departure and wanted to change his career and sign up for Infantry.  As a mother.......my heart sank, I did not like the sound of that and knew that I could protest and stomp my feet but it would be up to my son.  Don't you hate that?  They grow up, and now you are just watching them make decisions regarding their life.  Like you, I would prefer talking about the college he wanted to go, or technical school, anything close to home.  However sending my boy away to the military in war time.......this was not what i wanted. 

It was now my turn, and before my husband could speak I told the recruiter I needed his help getting my son into a career that would keep him away from the front lines. The recruiter smiled and proceeded to help me.  We both knew that all my efforts depended of my son's wishes, at the end I could only suggest but not dictate what he was to do. 

My son left  home 7/12/2009, we drove him to the recruiting station, needless to say it was a very sad day. He was very excited with his decision,  he was going to be on his own, out of the house and doing something new.  For us, we were sending him to the Military, and knew it would be a matter of time before he would be deployed.  Sending him off was the hardest thing we ever did.

To parents of  teens who are thinking of the Military,  I have some tips for you.

• Listen - listen to their reasons and goals
• Options - review options with them that can help them meet those goals
• review brochures of colleges or technical schools they could attend
• review the career options in the military branch of his preference
• Support - offer them support and encouragement on their decision  "whatever that might be"

The most important thing for your kid is to know you support their decision,  but they need to know what you want for them as well. This will be very important as once your kid is on his own,  he/she will think back at the decisons made, and it is important that they understand that you as a parent provided them with all the information available, and at the end you supported his/her decision.

Its been 2 ½ years since he left to the Marines, and I remember that day as if it were yesterday.   My son currently lives in San Diego, Camp Pendleton.  I miss him dearly, and don't hear from him as much as I would like.  I am very proud of my son,  the Marines was a good decision for him, he matured faster than if he would have stayed home, however just like any other Mom......I wish I had him home all the time.

Life is about choices

Life is about choices..........
You were given the ability to create your life and you do......you create every day.  Its really amazing, your attitude toward life is reflected in the results of your lfe.
A possitive attitude will push you forward, open you to new experiences and allow you to grow, improve.  Creates new opportunities - progress
A negative attidude will keep you where you are, will leave you in self doubt, break your spirit.  Creates more of the same - stagnant
I will use myself in this example:
A couple of months ago I had no idea what I would be doing today, I only new that my life as it was HAD TO CHANGE.   As I continued to discover my self and analyze my life, I knew I had to do something, I knew it was up to me.   I was interested in writing a book,  several people I know had already done so and the only thing holding me back was my lack of confidence.  My thoughts were; "who would want to read my book?, can I express myself?, what if no one buys my book?"   Well; I can't answer those questions, but I can answer the biggest question which is, "what happens if  don't try?".   I can't afford to not try.   My life needs to change and the only way it changes is for me to change as well.   I have lo learn to take risks,  I have to learn to trust myself,  I have to learn to beleive in the possibilites and most of all  I must learn to have faith.
As you can see I am up for the challenge,  I am working on my book, and this blog you are reading today.   I have made my decision,.  I chose to move forward, to change, to take on challenges and open my self to new experiences,    I do not know the level of success I will enjoy after publishing my book,  but I can tell you that I will be better prepared and ready for the next adventure.   I can tell you that I will have grown as a person and willl have learned to beleive in myself.   
I am ready to create my life,  going forward everyday in my life will have one purpose, and that is to make my life better.    I deserve this, my family deserves it and so do YOU.

Its time for you to choose..........what will you choose?i

If you can't beat them.....

If you can’t beat them join them……..Really?
That might apply to a project at work but not to your life. I say, if you can’t beat them move on, you don’t really need that association.  Life is not about following others and/or being submissive.  Life is about leading the way and creating your life, your destiny.   

No better Opportunity than the one in front of you

At times you are worried about when the right opportunity will show up, when it will be your time.  Yet opportunity can be staring you down and you don't see it.  Why is this? Well to begin, you are too busy thinking about the lack of opportunity and unsure of when you will get a chance to do better, thus you fail to see the chances that surround you.  

This is why its so important to open your mind and get clear in life.  There is no better time to take action than today, right now.  Stop asking "when?" and make your own opportunity.   I don't care who you are or what your situation is,  opportunity is all around you.....you just need to open your eyes and dare to take action.

I do not accept defeat

Am I worried? Yes. Do I accept defeat? No. I am a fighter and I will triumph because I will always take on whatever challenge comes my way.

They say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Well I am not sure I want lemonade. Honestly I am not ready to settle for whatever life throws my way.   I understand that I am in control of my life and that I must be accountable for whatever is currently in my life, however that does not mean I must settle.   If I do not like where I am , I need to get clear on what I want next and take action.   By taking action I regain control and am on my way to where I want to be.  

You can choose to serve up more of what life gives you, or change your course by taking control.
Its up to you.

No time for Fear

 

No matter how positive you are or try to be FEAR will always creep up to remind you of your current situation, voices in your head tell you "you are stuck , no where to go". You toss and turn losing sleep and all this happens because in your sub conscious mind you are AFRAID of your situation, of what you need to do. You doubt your ability to overcome anything that comes your way. When you allow yourself to be controlled by fear I believe that at that moment you give away your power to Evil.....These feelings lead to anxiety, depression which can get out of control. We need to get back to the light of God, acknowledge our situation, and have the confidendence in our ability to overcome. GOD sent us into this world equipped with the tools needed to live a life of peace, harmony and dignity. Reach out to him and ask for strength and wisdom to see clearly and when you do, send FEAR packing cause you have no time for this sad and lonely emotions.

God can dream a bigger dream for you.......

“All of us need a vision for our lives, and even as we work to achieve that vision, we must surrender to the power that is greater than we know. It’s one of the defining principles of my life that I love to share: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you could ever dream for yourself.” - Oprah

I love that post from Oprah.    I truley believe God has designed a great life for us however at times
we are afraid to dream and vision more than we have.  We let fear and frustration cloud our vision and we
lose our way from that great life we could have.   

God has a bigger plan for us,  when you feel that tug in your gut pulling you in a direction, just go with it even if you feel afraid......dare to dream, dare to live and remember God's got your back!

What makes you happy?

That is someting only you can answer. 

Honestly there are times that you might not be sure of what makes you happy.  This is due to not having a clear definition of who you are.  In order to be fully happy in life you need to get to know yourself;  know who you are, what you want and where you are going.  

So do yourself a favor, get to know yourself and enjoy life to the fullest.   Be happy, be yourself....you deserve it!

You are in control

Many times we are conflicted with problems, either at work or at home. Regardless of what problems you might have you must remain in control. Giving in to your problems is giving control to others or to events which at the end will negatively impact your life. This can happen to everyone however when it does you must quickly regain control. You must understand that whatever is occurring at that moment is temporary and that you are in total control to make things right. It might not seem clear to you at the time or the event might be longer than you wish however it will pass, and it will do so because you have the power to make things right. Noone and Nothing can rob you of your power.

I have known problems in my life mainly due to mismanagement of money. It is funny how people will tell you that “money can’t buy you happiness”, yet when you are flat broke, you are depressed, desperate and lonely. Some can get ill and some might not have the strength to carry on. I know this well, as I suffered from Anxiety due to my mistakes. When you are going through these issues you feel the walls collapsing around you with no way out. What can I do? Who can I speak to? It feels that it’s just you against the world and they are winning. These are just feelings…bad feelings. When you are in a bad place in your life, you can’t think straight. These bad feelings can take control of you IF you let them and can limit your ability to move on.

The most important lesson I have learned is to not allow the feelings of desperation to take control over me. By regaining control I am able to think clearly and analyze my next step.


Keep your cool in bad moments!

Make each moment count!

We are constantly making decisions, from waking up when the first alarm goes off, eating breakfast and so on.   This happens automatically and we do not realize all the decisions we make a day.  Do I wear a sweater or a jacket?  Do I go to work or call in sick?  Do I want coffee or tea?  You know this is true, we are constantly making decisions some are minor and some are major, but every decision you make will affect you either in a positive or negative way

Right now you might be contemplating a change of career or to go for a promotion.   Right now you might be deciding the level of dedication to give to your job or project.   Right now you might be deciding where to go on vacation.  Right now you might be deciding if to buy a pair of expensive shoes vs. the least expensive.  Right now you might be deciding if to study for a test or party with friends.  Regardless of what you are doing right now, you are making a decision that will impact your tomorrow. 

Think of it, right now, this moment is all you have……the past is gone….the future is tomorrow and it’s tied to the decisions you make at this moment. Therefore Right Now is the time that really matters.    Make each moment count!